Again With the Idiots at Customer “Service”

ISP went down again last night. *sigh* Did all the normal stuff can do from my end, up to and including replacing the cable “modem” with another, known good, unit and some lil “tricks” the local cable tech clued me in on that are not included in SOP.

No joy. *sigh* Called customer “service”. Doubleplus nojoy. Idjits. The BEST response I got from two first level “service” people was a proposal to schedule an appointment for a tech to drop by sometime on September 13. September 13?!? Ten whole calendar days?!? *feh* After stressing and re-stressing (thus distressing *heh*) to the customer “service” cubicle serf that such a “service” was no service at all, and certainly showed no evidence of good faith, I managed to finally, after repeated “requests” (read, “demands”) that my call be escalated to someone who could deal with the issue properly, I reached someone who noted that my cable “modem” was online, but was “not communicating with the server”. Right. Not at my end. From her end, she could–and did–reset the server’s connection with the modem (I had already been through several reboots of my whole network, in whole and incrementally, in those steps noted in paragraph 1 above), whereupon everything was working again.

Why the first two “service” serfs couldn’t or wouldn’t correct things at the ISP end, I don’t know, but the first rule of dealing with such “service” came in handy again: always escalate until you get someone who can at least find their own backside with a mirror on a stick and full directions written in monosyllabic words.

Now, it’s not barn-burning speeds, but at least it approaches what the ISP advertises:

I can live with that, although my cable “modem” can handle much greater speeds than that.

5 Replies to “Again With the Idiots at Customer “Service””

  1. Coda: The doubleplusstupid “customer service” call center

    a. REQUIRES that one input one’s phone number via the keypad so that one can be routed correctly, and known outages displayed for whoever takes the call, BUT
    b. the customer (dis)service reps’ script requires them to FIRST ask (AGAIN!) for one’s telephone number. *feh* Stupidity squared.

    Then, of course, las night, after I entered my phone number I was informed that “Some customers are experiencing problems connecting to the internet. We are working to correct the problem… ” etc., THEN another recorded message came on saying there were no known service interruptions in my area.

    Which was it? The customer (dis)service serfs had no idea, because THEY don’t receive the status updates the system is supposed to flip to their screens. ALL they could do was schedule a tech to come by (and tell me what I already knew: that my equipment was just fine and the problem was upstream, where someone upstream of THEM would have to address it) in 10 days.

    This sort of thing went on for six months last year… but, since this is America’s Third World County, this ISP is really the only game in town. ASDL? You HAVE to be kidding me. Just as buggy, service “techs” worse than cable guy, and slower service–when it works right–for more $$. Wireless (3G)? Worse still.

    Oh. Well. When it works (and I don’t have to interact with idiotic cubicle serfs at customer (dis)service), it’s Good Enough.

  2. They always first connect you with the person who knows the least, then go up a ladder.

    But everytime they tell me someone has to come out here and it will be a week or whatever, I tell them fine, and I want the value of a week’s service deducted from my bill. That always either gets someone more knowledgeable on the phone or gets my appointment moved way up.

    I also often start the conversation like this “I’ve already reset the modem, the computer, and done everything else you’re going to tell me to do. Can I have the next person please?” You’d be surprised, but they usually do connect me to the next person.

  3. Oh and I forgot to mention, one helpful thing that my cable company started doing before you even get connected to a live person, is “Push 1 if you would like us to send a new signal to your modem.”

  4. Update: of course, for the last couple of days, my d/l “speeds” have been varying between non-existent and “pretty good” and pings have been all over the map instead iof the fairly consistent 30-40ms range they have been, so I suspect the upstream problems I had last year are re-emerging from whatever lair they’ve been hibernating in. *sigh*

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