DUI… sorta

Driving under the influence… of cough syrup and the Founders.

Made for an interesting mini-confrontation with a cop who had NO idea what the First Amendment guarantees. (Hint: criticizing government, government officials, petty bureaucrats, etc., is specifically the point of “Free Speech”.)

Apparently, when I went out for an errand last night, while my headlights and all other normal nighttime safety freatures were working, my tail lights were not.

Stopped. Fine. Appreciated the information (no tail lights at night can tempt some idiot driving beyond HIS headlights to run up my butt). Told ’em so, warmly.

Apparently, though, two heavily-armed LEOs felt “threatened” when I offered to check my tail lights to see if there were a loose primary and to check my fuse box (under the hood). Oooo! He wants to Get Out Of The Car!

For THEIR “safety” (remember: two armed officers, one Olde Pharte) I was “instructed” (with a grab and push on my door) to stay inside.

Told the one with his own ZIP code he was acting like a portion of his anatomy he beggared a third world country to cover and… he threatened to cite me for “interfering with a police officer in the course of his duty.”

“Why, officer?”

“Because you called me a _______.”

“Liar. I did no such thing and I’ll demonstrate it.” (Quoted back to him my exact words which did no such thing. Of course, I did specifically say he was acting that way.) He huffed off. Came back. Told me to go ahead and check my tail lights if I wanted to. I demurred with, “No thank you officer. I don’t want you to feel threatened.”

Partner came back and told me no ticket, just get ’em fixed. Offered to hold a light for me while I checked in back. Again, I demurred. Armed thugs (OK, maybe only one was) LEOs behind me in the dark. Right. I like that option.

I know there are police officers who aren’t full of themselves to the point that being criticized for acting like an ass doesn’t set them off, but frankly, I think the profession draws way, way too many petty tyrants who are too full of themselves for any good. Sure, maybe the cough syrup loosened my tongue a tad, but that makes not one single solitary difference: playing the petty tyrant card to attempt shutting me up when he didn’t like what I observed and opined about his behavior revealed that cop as an ass.

Not just acting like one.

Sam Adams woulda shoved him on his big fat Pillsbury Doughboy.

And Jefferson and the other guys woulda held Sam’s coat.

Me? I just refused to take his B.S.

mini-micro-update: was a bad tail light blowing a fuse. Not burned out tail light: base was loose causing increased impedence.


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30 Replies to “DUI… sorta”

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  3. Nah, Angel, what I’m lucky about is two things:

    1. The other LEO was a woman (and not a Pillsbury Doughboy with her own ZIP code, either) and

    2. The mayor is having to run opposed for the first time in 20 or so years and wants my support. No, really. *heh* (But then, he wants the support of anyone who’s above ground and breathing at this point.)

    You do have a point, though. As SHaw said through the mouth of the Centurion in Antony and Cleopatra,

    “When a stupid man does something he knows is wrong, he always claims it is his duty.”

    Absent any witnesses (the woman officer, for example… and the fact that I know the local cops have recently had videocams installed in their cars (subpoenable videos–ahhhh! How sweet!), Officer Doughboy might well have done as you suggest.

    I do think I ought to suggest to Mr. Mayor that the ink on Officer Doughboy’s G.E.D. be checked. I’m sure he can’t pass the simple poly-sci/Amerhist requirements even for that.

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